Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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