You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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