apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
