I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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