It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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