Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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