1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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