I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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