dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
