i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
