I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
