Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i out mim tonsoeep
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