So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
