i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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