And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
