Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
