I am spending my child support on dildos
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
