am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
