And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
