haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Boobs speak an international language.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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