I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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