I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize