I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
