I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
