It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
