I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
