it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
