Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
