every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
what day is it and did you see me today?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
