Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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