two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
