Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
