we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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