I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
