i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
