I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
