I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
