I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
