apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
