i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
