who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
3pm strippers are depressing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
