are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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