You're so nebulous sometimes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
