No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was like eating out sand paper
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
