She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
