VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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