what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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