just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
