dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
