so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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