well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
