Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hippo gnu deer
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
