You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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