yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
false alarm. still invincible.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
