He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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