why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
