My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
