i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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