You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
