You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
