Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I faked an abortion last night.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He kissed a someone with a penis
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
