I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You're like the curious george of whores
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
