Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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